I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize