I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
this will be a night to untag.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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