...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
