yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
