3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
