Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
