Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
