You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize
