Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
