erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
