i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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