drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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