I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
