the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
