Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
