WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You work out of a Hotel?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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