we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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