I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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