You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
