her facebook's as public as her vagina
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Boobs speak an international language.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
