So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
