Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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