I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
