well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
