you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
