Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
