So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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