its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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