i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
