If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
