Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
