I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
