Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
