i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
