Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
