yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
