You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
