I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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