anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
