Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
