I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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