and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
