Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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