dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
