It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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