ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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