he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
