I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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