Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
