5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I AM VODKA MAN
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
